I could still remember vividly the first encounter at age 6 how it all started. Three of my cousins came for holidays and introduced me to sex. I remember how they will fondle my penis and put me between their thigh to get sexual pleasure. They will bring out their breast for me to touch.
At that age, I didn't actually understand what was going on, I was so small and just kept mute as it happened. It was not pleasurable for me at first but was just adventurous as I watched it happen. They continued each holiday until it began to give me pleasure. At some point, I started looking forward to when they will come as I longed for that touch. As if that was not enough, our house help started having same with me and before the age of 10, I was already sexually active.
My parents never had a clue as they would never have suspected that my cousins or house help could do such, of cause it is unimaginable. I thought this was just child's play but I never knew I was entering into a world of wild and untameable sexual desire.
By age 13, I started having an uncontrollable sexual desire that I couldn't say no to anything on skirts. I started molesting children and kept having multiple girl friends all to have sex with them. By 20, I was already a sex maniac. So many people call me womanizer, play boy and fleet but they never knew how it all started. That abuse opened me up to sex before time and caged me in a world of unending sexual desire.
Everyday I live in pain, anger and regret. Even getting married is a problem because I can't keep one girl, I have lived in this fear, confusion and guilt for years looking for someone who will understand my predicament.
Sexual abuse of boys is real and devastating. It can change the course of a man's life. So many men who are womanizers were victims of abuse, what you see them do is a ripple effect of that abuse.
I beg parents to please pay attention to their boys and guard them against these predators. Be watchful of house helps, relations, older ladies and even men around them. They may never tell you because it is shameful for a boy to say such and if you are not sensitive, you may never detect because of our nature.
I am 26 now, I've tried so many things but the monster will not leave me. I am broken, shattered and confused but I know I will come out of this someday. One of my abusers is married now and each time I see them, I feel a deep pain and hurt on the inside and I just wish to hurt them. Thank God for @Save the Boys Initiative and the great work they are doing, they understood my situation and gave me a shoulder to lean on. I appreciate their support and pray that it leads to my total freedom.
Dear parents/guardian, lets draw closer to our boys, win their trust and get them to be free and open with us, a lot is happening in our world.